Sometimes I just feel like giving up everything and not bother about a single details. But that is me, I just cannot do it. I hate myself for that. What I did, is not necessary appreciated, and it seriously demoralized me alot. I constantly remind myself that I should do what I want, what I feel that is a need, so that regardless of the outcome, I will not regret, because I did try and do my best. However, I just feel as though I always psycho myself, and the process really makes me feel miserable, because you are very uncooperative.
I don't know how long I can do this, I don't know how long my energy can last to keep up with everything, I only know that if this continues, perhaps, not long later, I will just drop everything. By then, all my efforts will seriously wasted totally. It takes two hands to clap. I can't make things happen alone.
When I thought that it should be a happy event, yet, all I feel now is upset, disappointment and miserable. Sighs. Who can tell me what I should do... =( I feel unimportant at certain times...
