Why....

- must I be tan (when I love the look of me being fair)
- must I dress up (I think I do look presentable.. objections?)
- must I be mature (in your context)
- are you insisting that I'm stubborn (when you're too =.=)
- long term relationships can't consist of committment and feelings at the same time
- aren't you learning your mistakes
- quarrels are unaviodable
- life is not as beautiful as fairytale
- am I getting so stressed up
- am I so not motivated/ disciplined
- can't I be as smart as my friends were
- am I feeling suffocated about everything
- do I feel my life is like shit
- am I feeling insecured
- isn't my tailbone healing fast (causing me unable to lean back, or sleep straight =.=)
- can't I manage my time perfectly
- can't I stop giving myself so many stupid lame excuses to excuse myself
- everything is so upside down
- can't you stop telling me you're tired (who's isn't)
- do you always give up so easily
- do you always say that I am comparing past to future (when you're living in the past shadows =.=)
- do I feel being treated unfairly
- I do not feel that I'm the priority
- the online blogshop owner takes so long to reply my email, I want that top very much!!!! ><
- can't you get tickets at least one day earlier
- can't you be more initiative (you used to.. =/)
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why whY wHY WHY?????????

Sighs. I don't know why I'm so-called emo, or rather pessimistic.
No idea why would I be thinking all these nonsensical stuffs (according to bf).
All these whys are not important, other doubts too.
Yes, I may appear very cheerful, happy, nothing happen, everything is so smooth-sailing as though life is like fairytale.
But, no, it's not.
Not that they're serious problems, they're all so minor that they accumulate in me, and going to explode like how a bomb does.
Hmmmm, no no, it's rather more like how a vapour cloud explosion occurs. (LOL, ISLP =.=)
You know, accumulate more and more, and when it found ignition source, BOOM! =/
A deadly explosion.

In relationship wise, I'm afraid history of your past will repeat AGAIN.
(since situations are rather similiar, or is it because we're both libras?)
In studies wise, I'm afraid of not able to catch up, I'm seriously struggling already, oh well, since when I haven't =.=
In family wise, I don't know, random things will surprise me (unpleasantly and pleasantly)
Friendship wise, still so-so???

Talking about that, Ting and Jeryl asked me out for dinner!!!!!
YIPEE!!! It's been 4 mths, ever since around my birthday when I last saw them, esp TING!
OMG! I'm super happy!!!

And yes, there's this person, whom, I don't really know, but yet could counsel me when I'm so confused.
Hmmm, just an online friend, he's no other then Mr N. LOL.
He'll definitely makes a good friend, I'll say.

Haish, I'm always downgrading my expectation of a hp.
Why? Because of money. LOL.
I don't know if I should get the same phone as dar, or get HTC magic, both i suppose are more affordable.
HTC Hero is way too out of my budget.
But I don't want people to say I copy dar, or neither do I want to set an impression of me wanting to get a couple phone.
I don't want to make the same mistake again. =(
(I regretted it so much, and lucky for me, it died, and no matter how I coax it, it just won't be revived.)
I just thought that HTC phone are not laggy, otherwise I would already get sony or samsung le.
Or do anyone have any recommendations which brand not laggy??
Actually I'm also considering balckberry. =/
OMG! I seriously don't know. ><

I think this post is long enough and alot of nonsense. =.=
But I can't help thinking all these, because it's there, infront of my eye.
No way can I ignore them. Sighs.

Ps: This post is just purely rants. If there is no unhappiness, one will not truly feels happy.
      No matter what happens, I still love Koen Chong Chee Wei, hopefully it'll be reciprocated though. =/
      And although things are so shit, I still love my current life. =)
      (This is how silly I can be.)